Thunderous
waves collide with flesh and wooden surfboards in Blue Crush, a vapid
gender-flipping sports movie indistinguishable from recent formulaic duds like
the estrogen-fueled Coyote Ugly and Summer Catch. Aimed towards
MTV-addicted teenagers, who enjoy their cut-to-death surf sequences (played over
wannabe heavy-metal tracks) served with one-dimensional characters spouting puke
inducing dialogue, this mechanical summer flick bathes in clichés for so long
its skin is more wrinkled than Freddy Krueger’s. And that’s ignoring the
fact that for forty minutes there’s no visible plot, although ‘plot’ may
be inappropriate when suggesting this movie contains one.
Within
Hawaii’s crowded beaches and laid-back citizens resides Ann Marie (Kate
Bosworth) who, with her two closest friends (Michelle Rodriguez and Sanoe Lake),
works as a housekeeper in an elegant hotel and can ride waves like few females.
Forced to raise younger sister Penny (Mika Boorem), who she constantly badgers
to do her homework yet takes surfing before school (resulting in many tardies),
Ann’s numerous responsibilities are reduced to comic skits that show how fun
it is cleaning VIP-customers’ vomit. With the Rip Masters tournament coming
up, where she’ll have to surf a section of the beach containing merciless
waves, Ann must decide whether she’ll compete against the taunting big boys or
get swept away by hunky NFL quarterback Matt Tollman (Mathew David).
As
usual, the interesting subplots are never developed past hinting level. Sparks
of risky character developments are instantly extinguished. Take Penny’s
rebellious behavior for instance; at 14-years old she steals beer, smokes, and
stays out late with older guys. Ann’s frustrations over matters like these are
shown in brief, but unfulfilling scenes that aren’t nearly as important as
those with sophomoric sexual content. The refusal to release movies with
maturity, without stereotyped characters doing and saying what audiences expect
them to, is nothing new for a major studio - - especially when the weather is
steaming and the theatres have central air.
Kate
Bosworth is optimistic enough to earn some sympathy, but this sports flick is
drowned by a worthless ugly-sheep love story. How many times have you seen a
movie where the main female character, who just started dating a wealthy big
shot, sits in a bathroom stall and overhears nasty rumors/remarks about her from women in
the same social circle? The list is countless.
But
putting story and logic aside, the surf pieces are so repetitive, assaulting
both eyes and ears with its Michael Bay ‘in-you-face’ editing technique,
you’ll notice the same footage used and reused several times throughout.
Watching wipeouts and wave glides can be interesting, it’s when these
consistently cut scenes play longer than ESPN Wild Surfers tapes that
patience is put to test. Undoubtedly, the amount of shot surfing footage
(including unused second-unit material) doubled that of the actors’ scenes.
GRADE: C-
-Copyright 2002 by
Shaun
Sages